


Mothman isn't Bullshit

by PrinceofFlowers



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: Crack, Gen, Mothman, Multi, Other, don't take this seriously
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-12-13 12:35:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11760015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrinceofFlowers/pseuds/PrinceofFlowers
Summary: "Mothman is bullshit" Robert once said until he came across a legion of red eyes in the forest.Well, mothman wasn't as bullshit as he thought, or so it would seem.—ON HIATUS/POSSIBLY DISCONTINUED





	1. I Stared Into the Void, and the Void Stared Back

**Author's Note:**

> Might become slightly Robert/Dadsona later.
> 
> This is purely nonsense I got after seeing really cute drawings of mothman, and decided to try drawing some.
> 
> I'm better at writing silly stuff like this though.

It was a night like any other night for Robert Small.

Drive off to his spot overlooking Maple Bay, drink, and whittle.

He left Betsy at home this time, so it was just him out there in the dark.

Or so he thought.

He heard noises coming from the forest, his knife in one hand, half carved figure of Betsy in another as he stared out into the darkness.

And the darkness stared back.

Dozens of glowing red eyes appeared, and the faint sound of fluttering wings could be heard.

What the fuck.

Robert turned pale, and swallowed hard before gripping his knife harder.

He slipped down from the tailgate of his truck to stand against these...whatever these were.

"Who's there?!" He shouted.

And the eyes got closer.

Robert didn't really remember what happened next.

He seemed to have misstepped, and fallen, hitting his head and knocking himself out.

He didn't stay conscious long enough to see what those creatures were, but even if he did, he probably wouldn't have believed it.


	2. Does This Count as Grand Theft Auto?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe also kidnapping?
> 
> These tiny mothmen are a lot smarter than they should be.
> 
> Hopefully Robert doesn't wake up in the middle of the ride.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rest in fucking pieces Robert.

There seemed to be the equivalent of a gasp of shock from the collective hoard- flock? of what looked like miniature...mothmen?

They varied a bit in size and shape, the smallest being roughly the size of a chihuahua, with the largest being abut bigger than Betsy, and each seemed to look like a different kind of moth.

However, they all seemed to share the same eerie red eyes, shining with an intelligence that these creatures should not possess.

One of them, a fluffy pink and yellow one, seemed to call out commands to its kind, and somehow, they all worked together to lift the unconscious man.

Through careful instructions, they somehow managed to get Robert into his truck, and close his tailgate.

Then, they strapped Robert into the passenger seat, closed the door, and all climbed into the truck.

Some at the pedals, some at the wheel, others squeezed into the driver seat, watching the road and mirrors.

One somehow managed to grab Robert's keys and put the right one into the ignition.

And so began their attempts at driving this unconscious semi-drunk man home.

Only.

They weren't entirely sure where that was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NO PROOFREADING WE DIE LIKE MEN


	3. Honey, I'm Home- HOLY SHIT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somehow the eagle has landed safely, but Betsy is horrified.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Those mothmen are better drivers than me.

Somehow, the flock of mothmen managed to pull into Robert's driveway after almost an hour of bickering and driving.

Surprisingly, the truck was intact and they didn't get pulled over.

Somehow.

Safely to their destination, the little cryptids got to work lugging the surprisingly still unconscious man out of the truck and into his house, unlocking and locking as needed.

Tired, the little creatures simply dropped Robert onto a couch, and made themselves right at home.

Well, they would have, if a little dog didn't come running, barking happily until she noticed who was there.

Betsy slid as she suddenly stopped, staring at the red eyed fluff monsters surrounding Robert.

She was silent before she let out the dog equivalent to a horrified screech, and ran off, cowering underneath a table.

This noise seemed to have finally stirred Rober from his sleep.

His eyes snapped open, and he shot up, looking around wildly, calling for Betsy until his eyes landed on the mothmen.

He then screamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NO PROOFREADING WE DIE LIKE MEN


	4. You Gotta Be Shitting Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert calls Dadsona in to help!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just replace Dadsona with your dadsona's name if you want.

Robert leap from the couch, located and grabbed Betsy, and ran to lock himself in his room while the little mothmen tried to make soothing, non-threatening noises at him.

With shaky hands, Robert fished out his cellphone, and called Dadsona.

Robert cursed under his breath until he finally picked up, his sleepy voice mumbling over the phone.

"Robert what the hell it's like. 2AM." Dadsona grumbled.

"THERE'S SOMETHING IN MY HOUSE!" Robert shouted over the phone, almost deafening Dadsona.

"Robert what the fuck?!" Dadsona winced.

"Look, there's a whole lot of weird, flying red eyed- things, in my house right now and I don't know what to do!" Robert shout-whispered frantically.

"Robert, you're not shitting me, are you?" Dadsona asked.

"NO! THESE THINGS ARE REAL AND LITERALLY IN MY HOME RIGHT NOW IM LOCKED IN MY BEDROOM WITH BETSY!" Robert roared back.

Thankfully, Dadsona had the phone far away from his ears this time.

He thought for a bit, and sighed.

"Alright, alright, I'll come over and check out what's wrong, but if this is just a prank I'm kicking your ass." Dadsona finally decided, grabbing a pair of pants to shuffle into.

"Thank you!" Robert nearly cried.

Dadsona only grumbled in response.

"I'll be over in literally a minute, okay? Your spare key is in the crack hidden by the bush on the left side, right?" 

Robert confirmed it, and Dadsona hung up, leaving Robert in his room with his whimpering dog, while the red eyed creatures flew around outside of his bedroom, seemingly arguing with one another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NO PROOFREADING WE DIE LIKE MEN


	5. Mothman is Bullshit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dadsona gets there, and tries to help Robert.
> 
> Robert goes off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> damn he's like a switch

If you told Dadsona that he'd be woken up at 2 in the morning to chic up on Robert, he'd believe you, since Robert is kind of a human disaster and Dadsona is Really Gay for Robert.

However, if you told him that he'd be unlocking the front door to his house after skinning a few of his knuckles trying to get the spare key, and then entering the house to be stared down by dozens of what looked like a flock of mothmen, he'd call bullshit and tell you to get the fuck out.

Yet here he was.

Standing dumbfounded at the door, with dozens of little mothmen staring at him with their red eyes.

Well fuck.

"Um...hi?" Dadsona said, lamely, hands in the air.

The creatures made some...noises? at him, and seemed to be harmless.

It almost seemed like they wanted him to come in and help.

Poor things looked tired, too.

Carefully, Dadsona stepped through the living room, and made his way to Robert's bedroom, and knocked.

"Robert! I'm here!" He called out.

Suddenly, The door was thrown open, and Dadsona was thrown in, before the door was then slammed shut and locked again.

"Robert, are you okay-"

"What happened?! Are they still here?! Did they hurt you?! What the fuck are they?!" Rober fired off, cutting Dadsona off.

Dadsona shushed him, and tried to calm him down.

"Robert, it's okay, I'm fine, they seem harmless, they're still here." Dadsona answered calmly.

"They're still here?!" Robert yelled, only to be shushed again.

"Yes. They kinda look like little mothmen."

For some reason, that seemed to completely change Robert's disposition.

While he was terrified, now he seemed almost angry.

"Mothman is bullshit." He said quietly, almost in a whisper.

"But they're huge moths-"

"MOTHMAN," Robert bit out through clenched teeth. "is BULL SHIT."

"Then look for yourself! They look like little mothmen! Like tiny, fluffy moths!" Dadsona argued.

Robert pushed him aside, and marched to the door, unlocking it, then opening it before continuing his march out to see the little mothmen.

"BULL SHIT!" He screamed, waking the entire god damn cul-de-sac.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NO PROOFREADING WE DIE LIKE MEN

**Author's Note:**

> NO PROOFREADING WE DIE LIKE MEN


End file.
